To My Papa and My Papa’s Father

THOUGHTS THIS FATHER’S DAY

THINGS I REMEMBER ABOUT MY FATHER

1) FORGIVENESS : A few years ago, before leaving for America, he asked forgiveness for all his mistakes from our family- my mom, the siblings in Manila, as well as some of my nieces. I remember him being so somber and broken, humbled and truly sorry. I think I will never ever forget this image of my Papa, and how I felt so proud of him.

 

2) CHANGE: Aside from owning up to his mistakes, he also changed and became a better man. For the first time in years, last year I heard my father tell me his plans for my mom. I admire him; even through pain, hurt, and old age, he fought to do what is right for my mother, that is, to be her partner and provider.

 

3) TALA: A few years ago, I can’t even remember why, but as I was looking for my very own number in Papa’s phonebook, he instructed me to look for myself under the name “tala.” Tala is Filipino for star. Right there and then I felt a tug in my heart, because not once did I think that he saw me that way. I realized that while I could be a star to many Filipinos (specially during the peak of my career), nothing beats being the apple of the eye of your very own father.

 

4) GOD’S WORD: Papa has unwittingly sown God’s Word deep into my heart. I know verses of some church songs so well just because I grew up hearing him sing so loudly in his room everyday, “Oh, bless the LORD!” and “Horse and Riders/ Horse and Riders…/They were thrown into the sea…” – without realizing then that it was talking about the crossing of the Red Sea. At times when his door’s slightly ajar, I even see him in a posture of praise, on his feet, palms raised and head facing up to heaven.

Papa is one of the most handsome people I know.

 

It has been years since he left for the States to fix his papers, and sadly, he chose to stay there so he can efficiently work for my mother. For reasons we both understand, Papa wasn’t even able to go home for my wedding and also missed out on the chance to hang a medal around my neck on my graduation.

 

This year, I am believing that I’d be able to visit him, and perhaps, that he’ll be finally present when Joseph and I renew our vows, maybe, in 5 years. Although I am already 31 years old, I never stop being my dad’s daughter and he, my father. I believe no one is too old (and never too late) to desire her dad’s blessing and honor.

 

This was on my wedding day, before walking down the aisle, my father called and we talked on the phone. He was all the way in Alaska.

 

 

Maybe many of us don’t have the most perfect scenario or situations with our dads right now, where distance, whether physical or emotional, hinders a full relationship with them. I know how it feels, guys, and it can be pretty sad from time to time. But let me encourage you that in times as such, I am able to find solace in the Lord, My Father in heaven, who is able to remind me that He is my Papa’s father, as well. The Greatest Father of all is sovereign and such knowledge is a source of comfort whenever I miss and get concerned about my biological father.

 

Whew. I knew I wouldn’t be able to write a father’s day blog without getting sad.

 

Pop, I miss you, and I continue to believe that I will see you soon. Thank you for giving me those precious memories I have been able to list above. I want you to know that not only are they memories, but great examples, as well. I’m proud to have you as my father, which makes me sorry there were many times you could not be proud of me as your daughter. But because you helped plant the seeds of God’s Word in my heart when I was a little girl, in His perfect time, it grew and gave me a new life by which I can finally honor you with. I love you, Papa. Happy Father’s Day!

 

Father God, thank you for being the best daddy there ever will be. Thank you that when fathers and their children find something between them, both parties can always run and take refuge under your wings. Thank You for Your perfect love from where springs our ability to be the best parent, the best child. Thank You that because of You, no amount of sadness can bring us to a point of desperation and lack. Instead, we can wait and hope for the day when you will restore every father to his son and daughter, as we had once been far from You- lost, but now found. I love you My Father in heaven. Happy Father’s Day!

 

 

Please take your time to listen to this song, “No Matter What” from the broadway musicale “Beauty and the Beast.” It has always been a great reminder of how God sees me, “creme de la creme” and how I see him as “tops,” even when some people think we are odd. In this Father and daughter relationship, I believe that we know each other best as He has planned all my days and as He is faithful in my life.

 

LYRICS:

 

Belle:
Papa, do you think I’m…odd?

Maurice:
My daughter odd? Where did you get an idea like that?

Belle:
I don’t know. It’s just that, well, people talk.

Maurice:
They talk about me, too.

Maurice:
No, we’re not odd, its true
No fam’ly could be saner
Except one uncle who…well, maybe let that pass
In all you say or do
You couldn’t make it plainer
You are your mother’s daughter; therefore you are class

Belle:
So I should just accept
I’m simply not like them

Maurice:
They are the common herd
And you should take my word
You are unique: creme de la creme
No matter what you do
I’m on your side
And if my point of view
Is somewhat misty-eyed
There’s nothing clearer in my life
Than what I wish and feel for you
And that’s a lot…
No matter what

Belle:
No matter what they say
You make me proud
I love the funny way
You stand out from the crowd

Maurice:
It’s my intention my invention
Shows the world out there one day
Just what we’ve got…

Both:
No matter what

Maurice:
Now some may say all fathers just exaggerate

Belle:
That ev’ry daughter’s great?

Maurice:
You are!

Belle:
And ev’ry daughter tends to say her father’s tops

Maurice:
She pulls out all the stops
To praise him

Both:
And quite rightly!

Maurice:
No matter what the pain
We’ve come this far
I pray that you remain
Exactly as you are
This really is a case of father knowing best

Belle:
And daughter too!

Maurice:
You’re never strange

Belle:
Don’t ever change

Both:
You’re all I’ve got
No matter what.